When I was younger, I used to have dreams about drowning and about falling out of a boat. For a while, I was really confused because I didn't know why I was having those dreams. I didn't talk to anyone because I didn't know what to make of them. In addition to these dreams, I also had images of the vast ocean and of people cramped in one small space. It wasn't until my family members started to talk about the escape from Vietnam did I realize why these images were haunting me.
The year was 1987 and I was only five years old. At that time we were living in Vietnam. It was in that year that my uncle Don decided to plan his own escape from the country. He spent weeks organizing the people and gathering the necessary funds for supplies.
"There wasn't a lot of money to work with because everyone was poor, but we made sure to buy a lot of oil, rice and noodles with whatever money we had. The problem was with getting the supplies to the ship without being caught. I came up with the idea of hiding the supplies somewhere. There's a little island off the shore called Monkey Island. I pass it every day going out on my boat to fish. Every night when it was real dark, I would paddle a boat out there with a couple guys and bury the supplies under the sand."
This was dangerous because communist ships were patroling the waters. If you were caught doing something suspicious, or worse, trying to escape, they would torture you and beat you to death. My uncle was well aware of this danger as he crept through the water night after night. Pretty soon it was time to make the actual escape. My mother described that night to me with vivid details.
"It was around midnight and everyone in the village was asleep. Your uncle Phe came to carry you to the boat that was waiting by the shore behind uncle Anh's house. I carried your brother. We didn't want either of you to cry and cause trouble so we gave you something to put you both to sleep. It was a stormy night. The wind was howling and the waves were rough. They were crashing really hard into the small boat. The men were in the water holding onto the sides so that the women and children could climb in. A small group was already in the boat huddling close to each other. I got in, then your uncle handed you and your brother over to me. Your grandmother was crying and wouldn't let you go for a while. Eventually she let go and once the men jumped in, we headed towards Monkey Island."
It was at Monkey Island that we waited for the bigger ship to come pick us all up. My uncle Don had made a deal with some pirates to use their ship in the escape. It was a dangerous move on his part, but it would have been impossible for us to sail into the Pacific Ocean in a small fishing boat that accommodated a maximum of twenty people. The wait seemed like eternity. As it got later into the night, the wind picked up and people's fears heightened. At one point, uncle Don was worried that the pirates wouldn't show.
"I was starting to lose hope. Looking at the women holding tightly onto the children was really tough for me. I could see the fear in their eyes. I was the leader so I walked around trying to reassure everyone. When we first pulled our boat onto the island, I went with a couple guys to dig up the supplies and bring them back to the shore. So there I was, with a group of about thirty people, all huddling in little circles waiting for the ship to come. After about an hour or two, the ship finally came. They dropped down a plank and I ran on first to talk to the Captain and make sure that everything was still going as planned. I was a little surprised to find that there was a significant amount of people already on the ship. Apparently the pirates offered to take other people on for a price. I was upset, but what was I going to do? At that point, the only option was to get on board and go on with the plan. I signaled to the men to bring on the supplies. After this was done, the women and children were helped on board. When everyone was on the boat and ready, we sailed into the ocean."
Together with the group already on the ship, the total came to fifty-five people. This included men, women, and children. Because the ship was small in size and there was a large number of people, the supply of water and food ended up being stacked along the sides. The location of the supplies later played a trivial role in the fateful voyage.
The first few hours once the ship set sail were uneventful. People were settling in and trying to sleep away the remaining hours of the night. Unfortunately, the fear of being caught and fired upon kept the majority awake. They all knew that their lives depended on whether or not the ship sailed to safety before being spotted by the communists. With the coming of a new day, the Captain informed them that they have sailed onto safe waters.
The excitement of safety didn't last long as the crew soon realized that nature wanted to take her turn at testing their determination and strength. Instead of having sunlight and serenity to match their mood, storm clouds moved in and created a dreariness to the day. As it got later into the afternoon, the storm broke out. The ocean was an endless mass of grew. The winds picked up drastically and the impact of the gusts were strong due to the open sea. While the wind howled, the waves crashed heavily onto the sides, rocking the ship like a cradle. Fear was once again on the minds of all the adult passengers. My mom was most fearful for the lives of her two young children.
"I was with you and your brother, along with other women and children, in the cabin. It was as small space but we all squeezed in there. You were lying on one side of my arm and your brother was lying on the other one. I barely moved because I didn't want to wake either of you. The weather was getting really scary and I would rather have you both asleep. The ship was rocking back and forth really intensely. I could even hear the winds outside. There was a small opening, or window in the cabin. Every now and then the ship would be low on that end and the stormy waves would crash into the opening. Since we were lying in front of it, our faces and our whole body would be drenched with water. When that happened, I would wipe your faces while you both got up to cough out the water. Once you got over the shock, you and your brother would lay down on my arms again and shivered until you fell asleep. I couldn't sleep because my arms were numbed from the pressure of your heads. I don't think I could have slept anyway because the thought of death was on my mind. I was scared, but I didn't show it because I didn't want the two of you to sense my fear. I just laid there until the morning came."
Once it was light enough to see what happened throughout the night, the crew saw that the storm did more damage than thought possible. Instead of affecting the ship itself, the storm took away what was most necessary on the voyage: the supplies. Somehow the unexpected weather had caused the majority of the food and water to fall overboard. The trip suddenly turned from one of escape, to one of survival.